Nala's Magic

my hubby

dan's parents have been going through old videos of the family and recently sent us this clip of dan entitled Ham Bone on the T-Bone. i'll let the video speak for itself:

  

i've gone iPhone crazy

well, to be more accurate, iPhone photo crazy. i got the iPhone 4S for Christmas/my birthday (thanks kins!) and i'm really digging it. i mainly wanted it for the photo and video convenience...and it hasn't let me down. Instagram, Hipstamatic (Bettie XL is my fav), Diptic and Camera+ are the best camera apps i've found.

also, i've printed some of my photos (PostalPix), made them into magnets (Stickygram), and sent postcards (Postagram and Red Stamp).

here are some recent iPhone pics:

here are my 4x4 prints:

here are the magnets:

time to retire the ol' point and shoot. it has a major crack in the case anyway. of course nothing will replace my DSLR, but i think the iPhone will help with my goal for this year.

goodbye dairy...

...and no more happiness.

 

perfect clip of what the pediatrician told me yesterday: no more dairy. (btw, if you haven't heard Brian Regan before, you're missing out.)

believe it or not, i was actually excited (or at least relieved) to hear this. i'm sure the reality of a dairy-less year will actually set in soon. after all, i LOVE my milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, sour cream, cream cheese, butter.

i am excited because we found out at least one of the reasons why JG has been so fussy: colitis.*

after noticing abnormal green, mucous-y poop earlier this week (two days after i consumed some cheese at Sky Blue), i took JG in to see our pediatrician and have his stool tested (guaiac). sure enough, JG had mucous and blood present in his poop which indicated that his poor little intestines have been irritated and inflamed.

the top offender of colitis in infants is cow's milk protein. soooooo, as i continue breastfeeding, i need to eliminate ALL dairy. meaning, even if milk is the 17th ingredient in some product i want to eat, i can't. also, the pediatrician said soy and egg can contribute to this condition (but we'll wait to eliminate those).

i'm thankful that God has answered prayers and now i know what is ahead of me. we will continue him on Zantac for now and i will take JG back for repeat guaiac in 2 weeks to hopefully see an improvement.

*Allergic colitis is a condition in which your baby’s immune system overreacts to the proteins found in cow’s milk, leading to inflammation and ulcerations (tiny breaks in the skin) in his colon (large intestine)  Most often, a baby with allergic colitis seems extremely fussy, difficult to console and has bloody stools. Allergic colitis isn’t uncommon — it affects between two and three percent of infants.The overwhelming majority of babies with allergic colitis outgrow their "milk allergy" by the time they’re 1 year old.

on parenthood

i got this from a. piper's blog and laughed out loud...charting the joys and troubles of parenthood:

i am a mess

i'm sure you've figured that out by now, especially after reading my post from two days ago. it has been a hard year with my dad dying, dan in school full-time, my difficult labor and delivery, and now JG's issues. but those aren't the cause of my anger/stress/anxiety/fears. i just read three timely articles on the CCEF blog that helped me:

the angry person

the secret to dealing with fear and anxiety

how to talk to God when you are suffering

the reason i am angry, stressed-out, anxious and full of fear is because:

1. i want ___________* and i'm not getting what i want (James 4:1-10)

2. i don't think God is good and therefore i don't trust him

3. i think that i deserve good things; that God owes me XYandZ.

*i made a list to help me really reflect and be honest...here are my unedited wants:

• i want to be in control (and i'm not)
• i want answers  - to JG's issues, about my dad's death, etc. (and i don't have them)
• i want an easy life
• i want a peaceful home
• i want SA to obey
• i want order and organization
• i want to be thinner
• i want to not be stressed and feel how i'm feeling
• i want a baby who will nap well, eat well, be healthy and not fuss/cry
• i want a schedule
• i want uninterrupted sleep and more of it
• i want to be able to eat what i want (i want a glass of milk, my new greek yogurts, ice cream)
• i want my to-do list to disappear
• i want a bigger house

Lord, humble me. i am the creature, you are the Creator. i am your servant--show me what this means. please be merciful to me. God, forgive me for always wanting things my way and sinning when i don't get my desires (good or bad). give me grace to trust that you are good.

i'll end with this paraphrase by Ed Welch of 1Peter 5:6-7:

Humble yourself before the Lord. This shouldn’t be too difficult. After all, he is God and King, Lord of all. He is the Creator. You belong to him. The creature is the possession of the Creator. Humble yourself before your King. And here is one way to express this new-found posture of humility: cast your cares on him. Did you catch that? When you come humbly before the King he reveals his unlimited love. Who would have thought? He actually wants you to cast your burden on him. You were never intended to carry those burdens alone. He is the mighty God who never leaves. You can trust him. And this casting is no mere act of your will. It comes as you know that he is God and you are not. Oh, and you can be sure that he will lift you up from your kneeling position and give you more than you ever expected.

your birthday

dad,

it would have been your birthday today. i miss you. i missed you at christmas too. even though we had many hard times, you're still my dad. we had plenty of good times too. why did you leave so soon?

i searched through my emails the other day and found a few from you. we emailed only a little bit--you were never a big fan and definitely behind the times when it came to technology. i have saved all of your handwritten letters though. but here is a little excerpt from an email you wrote in 2006 while dan and i were in China:

My trapping has gone exceptionally great, thanks to the great one that I can praise all day long.  9 fishers, 10 raccoons, 5 mink, 3 grey fox, 1 red fox, and 3 rats.  Plus 29 mice out on the back porch.  I heard an old man at the barber this week say that he caught 17, and he claims this means a very hard winter, but I wonder all the animals I've fleshed so far have had less fat than normal.  What ever that means! 

I gotta quit, it's way past my bed time and I can't spell my name anymore.   Love ya both, Dad

i did take a beaver pelt from camp that is now hanging in our bedroom. it, of course, reminds me of you. did you know that you have another grandson? he is very cute. i will tell him about you. i will tell him and his older brother all about the times when we went trapping together. i'll tell them about the time that you let me skin a couple muskrats and the time we caught your first live otter. there is so much to share. i wish you were here to tell them.

i love you.

hodgepodge (an update)

~~i would describe my life the past almost-three months (since JG's birth) as "in a fog." the fog still hasn't lifted but, i think, is slowly clearing. as my mom said, two steps forward, one step back.

this past week JG has nursed really well. he has slept better. i am praising God! last monday i was feeling very desperate and i finally called La Leche League and spoke with two different "leaders." after describing what has been happening, the first LLL person said it could be reflux or milk sensitivity (nothing new) but then asked me if i was still taking prenatal vitamins. yes, i was. she told me to stop because the iron will upset a baby's stomach. who knew? the next day after i stopped taking the vitamins, he was better. he still struggles with staying a sleep for naps, but at least it's not a battle nursing him anymore. that has been the most stressful, sad thing with JG. breastfeeding is such a precious gift (and totally worth the pain of those first two weeks) that i was determined not to give up.

and for my records, JG before last week:

• 25-30 minute naps
• inconsolable crying 1-2 hours straight, usually late evening before bed
• multiple downright refusals to nurse
• nursing for 5-7 minutes max, only one breast per feeding, popping on and off

JG now, at almost 12 weeks old (he's still on Zantac, me off dairy and prenatal vitamin):

• wakes up (or i wake him) at 7:30am
• nurses both sides for ~10 minutes total
• stays happily awake for 1.5 hours
• i put him down to sleep, swaddled, in his bassinet around 9:00am
• he cries for 5-10 minutes (now) and falls asleep on his own
• sleeps 45 minutes to 1 hour 15 minutes (once last week he slept solidly for 2 hours. that was my best day byfar!) then wakes up, i give him paci and he usually falls back asleep for another 45 minutes or so
• wakes up (or i wake him) at 11am and we loosely repeat this 3 hour cycle, but he progressively has shorter awake times, shorter naps, and longer fussiness as the day goes on.
• he sleeps well at night; last feeding around 8pm, dream feeding at 10:30pm, wakes up once around 3:30/4am

feel free to judge. i know i'm a loony. like i said, i'm in an all-consuming FOG.

~~in other news, i finished Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman. great book. not well written, but it doesn't matter because it's an autobiography. an honest journey of struggle and hope. i cried through multiple chapters as she recounts Maria's death. one of my favorite parts of the book is p.170, which is right after they had to say goodbye to their daughter:

We had no sense of time...it was as if the chronological passage of minutes ceased to exist in our world; random, disjointed events were happening, but everything seemed out of order. In the midst of our grief and struggles, we were also living with an experience of special grace...a sense of God's presence, as if the veil between the temporal and the eternal had been lifted...We felt a supernatural sense of God holding us. We had a heightened awareness of what really mattered, a clearer vision of eternal things that we normally could not see. We were desperate for God. The Bible was like oxygen for us as we searched for comfort within its pages.

~~lastly, the boys' mini kitchen arrived, dan put it together, and SA has been loving it!

toys

SA is into role playing these days. it is his age, i'm sure. and the fact that he now has a little brother and wants to copy everything mama does with baby JG.

he has several dolls, with one he named "baby doll." he carries her around and puts blankets over her saying "nigh night baby doll" (he is actually doing this as i type). he also pats her back, kisses her, sits her up on the couch, and recently told me to "shhh" because "baby doll seeping" (sleeping). hmm, where did he hear that?!

i remember playing pretend as a child and have purposefully given SA toys that nurture this skill. i recently ordered a little kitchen for the boys with Christmas money. i'm excited (i pick it up tomorrow) because i know SA will really enjoy it. in preparation for his new play stove/oven/sink set, i've gathered some things from my kitchen to add to his collection of play food.

dan laughed because i bought the grits for the cloth bag. i've never made grits before (i'm a yankee okay?) but now i'll have to try.

i'll do a follow up post when we get the boys' kitchen installed.

books and a little music

two of life's greatest things: books and music. don't you think?

here is a book video:

 

i finished The Hunger Games a few weeks ago. i'm doing a little "book club" with two friends and we decided to do this series. it was a fast read and quite entertaining, but it was no Harry Potter or Twilight. i know i don't always need to compare, but i can't help it.

now i'm reading Choosing To See by Mary Beth Chapman. i've wanted to read this book for a while and finally got my hands on a copy, thanks to McKay's (oh how i love thee!!). i'm about 3/4 the way through the book. it is a privilege to get a sneak peak into the lives of the Chapmans.

Dan and I are reading Andrew Peterson's On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, the first book of his Wingfeather Saga. it's slow going and a bit corny for my tastes. but we're still trudging through it in hopes that it will get better at some point.

for music, SA was given a perfect birthday gift that we are just now enjoying. it is a cd of truth put to song from Westminster Shorter Catechism called Ask Me Whooo. i highly recommend it. it has great music and teaches the foundations of the Christian faith (even if you don't necessarily agree with every point). it has been really spiritually refeshing for me! the cd is in our van, so every time we drive it plays and we all sing as a family. kinda weird, but kinda awesome. SA can sing the first two questions and loves it!

three o

i turned thirty last week.

a friend got mad at me for not telling her it was my birthday. :) but to be honest, it wasn't a big deal. i wanted it to be fun and crazy and a big deal. i told dan last year that i wanted to do something BIG for my thirtieth. so we started planning a party...i came up with a theme, i made invitations on photoshop, i set up an evite, i made a list of people to invite, we brainstormed restaurants and babysitters...but i got overwhelmed with pulling it all off and i was tired from taking care of the boys. it stressed me out to try to find a babysitter, a place to hang out after eating, and costumes for the party. so i called it off.

instead, dan took me and our third wheel (JG) to P.F. Chang's for a late dinner. it was good. it was relaxing. JG miraculously slept the whole time. and we ate their banana spring rolls and a mini great wall of China on the house.

next year. when i turn 31, we'll throw a big bash and eat marble slab ice cream cake.